6 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Dad
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I saw a parenting meme recently on Facebook that hit me. It showed a dirt road riddled with potholes on either side of a small, paved strip. The heading over the first dirt patch was "the early years of parenting." The second rough section of the road was labeled "the teenage years." The smooth area in the middle read, "those smug years you think you are nailing it." Having struggled through the early childhood years and on the precipice of the teenage years, I can relate. Sometimes, we think we have it all together, but we don't know what we don't know.
In his powerful book Raising Kingdom Kids, Dr. Tony Evans writes, "God established the family as a conduit of blessing, providing both the opportunity and framework for individuals to collectively carry out His plan in history. In particular, that plan includes the implementation of His kingdom rule, or dominion, on earth. Children are the divinely ordained means of bringing the world under the dominion of Jesus Christ. The reason Satan continually attacks the family is that the family was specifically created as the channel through which God's kingdom would be reproduced, as kingdom kids were raised to become kingdom parents in their own homes."
He adds, "The command to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28) wasn't given simply so parents would have look-alikes. Rather, it was given so God would have look-alikes."
Parenting can either bring you and your spouse closer together, or it can drive you further away. It provides opportunities for tighter marital bonds, or it can cause countless arguments. That's why, as a parent, it's essential to make your marriage a priority. That means scheduling time regularly to check in with each other, leave the busyness of the household, and enjoy a night out. I admit that my wife and I are not as good at this as we should be. We do schedule a short trip each year to get away and refresh. We also have finally reached a parenting stage where we can slip away by ourselves for a walk or a hike. With busy weekly schedules, finding time to date your spouse is hard. But, you can't be an effective father if you aren't first being the best husband you can be.
As a young father, I remember stressing out about so many things. Would I know what to do if my kids were hurt? Am I a good example for my kids? What if I fail? Will I be able to provide financially for my family and take care of them? Early on, I wish I had cut myself some slack. There are no perfect fathers – here on Earth. Our Heavenly Father loves us perfectly, and He is who we should draw our inspiration from. He will give us everything we need to be the fathers He has called us to be. The most important thing I can do is simply to be present – physically, mentally, and emotionally – for my children. I won't be a perfect father and shouldn't necessarily strive to be. But I can be there for my kids, and in the end, that's pretty good.
Brent Rinehart is a public relations practitioner and freelance writer. He blogs about the amazing things parenting teaches us about life, work, faith and more at www.apparentstuff.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at @brentrinehart